Mommies can’t get sick, but if they do, God provides.


Tuesday, after Joshua’s Parent/Teacher Conference, I came down with an incredible pain in my kidney area that turned out to be diagnosed as kidney stones.  It’s now Sunday and I’ve been out of commission for almost 6 days.  While I’ve gotten extra rest, with periods of excruciating pain, it made me realize all the more just how important it is for me to take care of myself.  As Joshua’s primary caregiver, he and the rest of the family needs me to be healthy and I need it for myself as well.  The Lord seemed to smack me with a good sized 2×4 and I hope to learn from this lesson as it’s been hard on all of us.  Joshua, especially, has had a confusing few days as to why Mommy isn’t up and about.

The other day, for example, Joshua told me, when he came in and saw me laying in bed, “Time to get up now, Mommy!”  It was heartbreaking telling him “Mommy is sick, Joshie, and needs to rest in bed.”  Joshua has come in every day to lay down with me and wants me to play our tickle game.  I, of course, indulge him, as he needs to know, in his own way, that Mommy is still here and will be okay.  Yesterday afternoon he even came in while I was napping and after a little tickle time, settled down with me, and took a nap himself.  It was such a treat to snuggle with him and did us both a lot of good as I’ve missed him and all the kids.  I’ve come in every evening, as well, to tuck him in and say prayers with him, which, I believe, has helped with his adjustment.

This is not an accurate representation of what passing a kidney stone looks like, but it’s the best you are going to get!

It’s been difficult, however, to simply hear from a distance, what is going on in the house and both wanting to intervene, yet not wanting to at the same time.  As an autistic child, dear Joshua picks up on all the tension in the house and Friday was especially difficult as I was in intense pain from 6:15 AM until mid afternoon.  The pain medication helped, but I needed to lay in bed as I felt woozy.  It even brought me to tears a few times, but I was also determined to offer up my suffering and unite it with Christ’s suffering on the cross by saying prayers for my family and friends.  (May as well get something worthwhile out of it, and it truly was a good time of prayer.)  For the rest of the day, I simply rested, took that nap with Joshua, took a bath and ate a wonderful meal Bryan prepared.

Drink 32 oz of water with 2 tsp. of lemon juice concentrate daily!

There is a lot of good coming from this experience, which is what I like to focus on.  The kids are learning that they are capable of doing a lot to help around the house, as they should be.  Michael would like to see Joshua contribute more, and with guidance and persistence, he is.  He will do even better with the help he will be getting.  It takes work, with all the kids, and in any home, to get everyone to understand how to work as a team, and the trick will be for us to continue once mom is 100% again.  I’m hoping that time will come soon as I don’t like laying around.  I need for this stone to pass so I can make sure Joshua is getting to his therapies during the week.  I do have the blessing of having friends to step in the gap and help with Joshua if I can’t, and for that, I am more than grateful to the Lord.  My dear friends and family all stepped up when I was down, taking me to urgent care, then the ER, to a urologist appointment, and Joshua to physical therapy when he needed to go.  God truly does provide for us in many ways and the Body of Christ does indeed help out in times of struggle.  It does take a willingness to be humble, however, and to simply express the need.  We, mothers of autistic children, like any mother, will go to any extent to help our child, but we are also merely human and need to balance our children’s needs with our own, to truly be of the most good for them.

There are many mothers out there who are working their tails off without complaint, to make their child’s life a little better.  A mother of a disabled child is a special kind of warrior, so self care is essential and if you are able to admit that sometimes, you need to take a break, do so, before it is thrust upon you in an unpleasant fashion.  Try to work it into your schedule on a regular basis and if you are a friend of a mother with a disabled child, see what you can do to make sure she’s getting a break and given time to refresh her mind, body and spirit.  Dad’s need breaks, too, don’t forget.  In our case, Joshua’s dad is working a job and two side businesses in order to provide for us, but for some reason, in all the busyness of trying to provide, we both must take time to refresh so we can be there for each other and for our children, most especially, those with special needs.  It helps parents as individuals, but also, as a couple to refresh, as the stress of caring for a disabled child has broken many marriages, and by God’s grace, and a lot of hard work, we are reminded that we need to invest in our marriage just as much as in our kids.   It’s not easy, but your prayers and support go such a long way and we thank you!

A Date Night, yes, but we can do better than this!

This would fit in our budget as long as it involves a stop for a warm beverage!


This entry was posted on Sunday, November 25th, 2012 at 10:42 pm and is filed under Autism Resources, Autism Treatment, General Autism Info. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


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